Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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