Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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