Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
