the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
