The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
