we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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