only you would photoshop your dick
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
