the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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