hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
