This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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