you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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