I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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