I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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