But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
