Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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