my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
