R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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