we have pet lesbian snakes
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
