You're my little dorito
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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