I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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