Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
