I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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