He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
