I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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