i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
