I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
