you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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