i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
