I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
