This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
