You can't motorboat a personality
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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