DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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