My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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