yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
