he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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