Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
