im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
