I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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