i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
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