Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
