dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize