You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
