You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
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