No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
