Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
