you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize