Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
