I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
