gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize