google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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