I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
