2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
