Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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