Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
