I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
