I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
