shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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