I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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