That's when you crack a 10am beer
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
