hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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