Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
