I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
