I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
