well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
