Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
