So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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