Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
